home is a hell!

get the FUCK out of my bathroom already!!!! you whichever one it is, has taken THREE fucking showers in my bathroom already!!!! you better not have used the last of my body wash or my expensive shampoo cause i will fucking KILL YOU. do you want to sublease and take my half of the rent, bitch? cause i'd be totally down. you can live with the roaches your boyfriend is too scared to tell you about cause i dont give a fuck. i am SO over you and your dog and this fucking place. my brother had it right when he said, "home is a hell".

STARVING......

literally AND figuratively.

so much has been going on lately.....

i am going to california with 3 of my besties to see the murder city devils!!! in san fransisco AND los angeles. i cant wait! we are gonna get rowdy. it's gonna prolly beat out austin, tx for best trip ever. maybe i'll meet some rad people too. :D i did last time.

and i don't care if i'm 25 years old....I LOVE TWILIGHT! i'm so far from being a reader and i cant put these books down! i want a vampire! or better yet, i real life edward! i want a sexy man that rocks and wants to protect me all the time. hahaha. unrealistic huh? :\ yeah.

i hate having "crushes" b/c nothing ever works out the way i want it to. i know despite feeling old, i am only beginning my life. still, i want someone to want me as much as i want them and i'm impatient! my biological clock is ticking and i want to at least be able to look at my future and see the possibilities. but i don't even have the foundation built yet for that kind of a future.

i hate being a girl.

whenever i write these things, i always look back and think, "god, people prolly think i'm bi-polar". that's not the case, REALLY. i'm just completely scatterbrained.

***edward***

hopeless.

im in love with steve!!!! too bad he will never know.

sunday sunday bloddy sunday!

tattoooooossss!!!!!!!!! 138 besties tattoo either on my collarbone or top of my wrist and hopeless down the side of my ring finger! yay yay yay!

argh!

why is everything so complicated? why does the guy that could potentially be an awesome boyfriend have to live in another sate and why must the ones that like me here, be huge skinheads or dorks.....random combination.

work is aggravating.

my roommate is aggravating.

at least my girls and i are gonna be getting 138 tattoos and im gonna be ballzy and get my finger tattooed. im so psyched i cant wait. oh, and did i mention my friend who is tattooing us is hot? why didnt i date him when i had the chance? NO. i had to go for the rowdy, trouble making, lying , cheating best friend.

why do i care about boys so much? all i need are my girls and a good makeout once in a while.

crazy town

so my ladybirds and i went out last night and it was CRAZY! we had these guys buying us drinks ALL night at delilahs and underbar and i made out with this guy thomas aka sid. he is a sweetheart and adorable with a beard and stretched ears and tattoos everywhere! i could go on....and this other guy has been hitting on me ever since we left the bar and went to gennas apt. speaking of gennas...

one of the guys that bought us drinks slashed gennas tires and broke her mirrors! can you believe that? and all because he couldn't find her apt. what a piece of shit!

i have too big of a headache right now.

stressed!

i have too many obligations and not enough time to do them. i hate unflexiable schedules!

HOPE

the time is now!

GOBAMA!

i have butterflies in my stomach and and earthquake in my heart.

it's time to start living.

BARACK N ROLL!!!!!

barack is winning! i hope he does.

I KNOW HE WILL WIN.

this is going to be the biggest moment in history during my lifetime. i can feel it!

i just want the official numbers!

if mccain somehow wins, i'm packing up and moving to europe. max already said he would come with me. so i'm set. got my friend/dance teacher/hairstylist by my side.

the first bi-racial president. not some old white dude with a stick up his ass or coke in his nose.....

I AM ABOUT TO WET MY PANTS!!!!

obama is winning.....california chose OBAMA!!!!! come on U.S.!!!!!!!!!!!

we need a change.

i need a change.

change is a great thing.

obama won the electoral votes!!!! he is the new president!!!!!! i dont need to see the rest of the states. time to crack open the wine by myself!!!!! YAY TO LUCKY #44 (president that is)

all hallows eve

last night was interesting.
some people really piss me off.
i'm not looking forward to seeing any of them tonight.
i have a headache
and i'm really pissed my brand NEW tom gabel cd doesn't play in my car!!!! bogus!
i'll have to bring it inside and see if it plays on anything....
on an up note,
i can never stress enough how much i love jenny and genna. best friends for life.

i don't wanna be learned and i don't wanna be tamed!

sternum piercing! jenny's owl tattoo! milkshakes with the best people i know!

today was a rad day!!!

i hate everyone!

so today i came across pictures posted on myspace of my supossed to be best guy friend and my ex hanging out with my ex-fiances whore that he cheated on me with. i am SO over fake ass mother fuckers and bullshit drama. if i could move out of my place, i would cut all ties.

you are supposed to be my roommie and my best friend and you go hang out with the people that snuck up behind me and stabbed me in the back. and you openly tell me about it too!?

are you retarded????

grow up.

the next time he brings up KC and all those people, i'm gonna snap on him and tell him, "go ahead and do what you want and hang out with whomever you please, but don't go telling me about it cause i don't want to OR need to hear that shit."

i am so grumpy right now and im sick and have to go vote and all i wanna do is lay around and be lazy.

argh.

le sigh....boys.

i am in love with (we will call him) furby. i am. always have been. it's never gonna go anywhere. but i DID get to sleep over in his bed with him last night! <3 hehehe! silly butterflies.

berlin finally added me on myspace. i don't even care anymore. like i'd go to new york to visit HIM. more like to go shopping in soho! YEAH!

and morrison aka the hot myspace guy is a prick. totally glad he didn't write me back cause it prolly would have been mean. i hate guys and jedi-mind tricks.

at least im having fun making out.

oh furby. sigh*

i am lame.

i missed my bff last night though i must throw in there. it wasn't the same at flatiron without her.

wanderings....

so i don't have much to talk about tonight, but i feel like writing. not just b/c i feel like writing, but also b/c a certain someone that i live with wants to use my computer and i don't feel like sharing. hahaha. but really i'm not joking.

on other topics.....

my dream rock.n.roll lover still hasn't written me back. :( so much for that. at least i know i made an effort. figures he was too good to be true.

i feel like i've hung out with genna and jenny so much in the past week that these past two days without them has been really weird. as much as i HATE chicago at this point, i wish i lived in the heart of it so i could be by my closest friends all the time. i don't care so much about my job and money and what boy i wish i could date when i'm with my ladybirds.

i was reading genna's blog and it reminded me about our future trip to petaluma, california. i can't wait!!!!! i really wanna stop by san diego and visit jon and seo and i REALLY wanna go up to seattle at check out spencer moody's shop and hang out with travis. :D i miss all those guys. they are good times.

rock.n.roll!!!

alright, so i REALLY wish i could think of more to ramble about, but i should stop so i can let......lame-o immature, brag-o-ra-man use my computer. weak sauce, cajun style!

i hate work. i dont wanna go tomorrow. fucking italians from italy. drive me nuts.

bummer.

he read the message, but i got no response.

the story of my life.

i've had a rough start, but i'm ready for the good part.

i either just did something that is going to benefit me, or i just did something REALLY freaking stupid.....

prolly more stupid.

i just wrote a....(gulp) myspace to this guy i am infatuated with even though i'v only seen him and never talked to him. it wasn't any, "oh my god, you are so sexy! i love your tattoos! we should make, i mean..hang out sometime.". more like, "hey, i've seen you around and we know alot of the same people. how come we've never met?" type dealie.

am i an idiot? he's prolly a douchebag or way out of my league. but i just HAD to contact him and i cant do it when i'm drunk at the bar. i try to be classy sometimes!

630

i am so sick of a certain person who is bogus and i don't really care to have as my friend anymore. i wish he would grow the fuck up and stop trying to be cool and impress LOSERS all the time. and stop stabbing me in the back.

"true friends stab you in the front."

at least then you know they are being honest and straight forward with you. unlike this certain person who isn't even really trying to hide his faults. are you an idiot or what? what friend hangs out with enemy #1?! the person that ruined a good chunk of my life. FUCK YOU MR. BLUE!!!

i wish i could get outta here now.

i'm glad i got my girls to take my mind off of these stupid things. speaking of which, i have to get ready to meet up with evil and then i'm getting tattooed!!! yay creature from the black lagoon!



i hope it turns out badass. i'm a little nervous seeing as how i have had the same artist for years and now im going to someone i have never met before....WISH ME LUCK.

the last 48....

this past weekend was INSANE!

went out for my birthday with my girls and got plastered at the bar till they closed at 5am.

we all "tagged" someone.

i met "berlin". he is pretty rad. he took me to the blackhawks opening hockey game. i LOVE hockey! it was so much fun!

i ran into ALOT of people i knew over the weekend. i could care less about ALL of them. i am convinced that 95% of the population sucks and as much as i want to move out of this midwestern hell hole, i feel life will be the same where ever i go, just diff. scenery.

on a lower note, grandpa jack prolly isn't gonna live through the week. :( i wish they offered the death pill so he wouldn't be suffering and have his last memories be of him sitting in his reclining chair with a diaper on. what a bogus way to go. he should be going with a martini in his hand. that or a gin and tonic. i love you gramps. <3 my heart is in arizona with you right now.

on the ups, i'm going to mastermind ink on fri and getting the creature from the black lagoon tattooed on me! yay! and birthday shopping on monday with mom.

i hate my job. and when i say HATE, i'm not exaggerating. i don't wanna go tomorrow. at least i get to work with D-Biz all day. WOOHOO! she cracks me up.

P.S. sorry i have A.D.D. about everything. i'm usually too unfocused to even write something as detailed as a journal entry....i should go to bed.

live young die fast

since, my parents are going to be in arizona (tending to my dying grandpa and grandma who just broke her ribs) during my birthday, we celebrated it tonight.

twenty five....2-5!!!!!

jesus.

if this is all there is to life....getting older, feeling physically older, working too much to have a life and not making enough money to survive, i quit!

can you quit life? "i'd like to go to back to start please."